Twelve Things I’ve Learned Since Moving Out Twelve Days Ago

Whether or not you’re in your ‘early 20s peak’ or any stage of life, the move from your college dorm or parent’s basement can be a monumental one. It can mean hardship, happiness, new opportunities, loneliness, or any host of unprotected emotions. For me, moving to a new city fresh out of college as a December graduate meant that none of my peers were in the same stage of life yet, so finding someone to understand those experiences was challenging. While I was figuring out my commute to work, my friends were still sitting in their three credit lectures. So, if you’re a professional or parent looking to support, or moving yourself, this Week One Check-in is for you: Twelve Things I’ve Learned Since Moving Out Twelve Days Ago.

*For organization’s sake, I’ve grouped these into three categories: Financial, Professional and Personal. However, moving for a job is a hugely personal decision. These feelings can blend into one another and that’s more than normal. It’s good.

Understanding Your Finances:

Tip Number One: Track your spending. I mean all of it.

If you’re new to moving as I was, here’s a recap of what might happen once you receive your offer or are budgeting a move for yourself. Most employers will provide you with a lump sum moving bonus, probably around $5,000-8,000 depending on your distance, salary, position, etc. When I saw that number, initially I was confused. Is that enough to cover moving? Too much?

Before moving out to Greenville, S.C., I’d only ever driven my car to my college dorm with sheets and maybe a frying pan. It cost me around fifty bucks in gas and McDonalds. So, as a new employee, if you have no concept of how much moving will cost, it’s highly likely you’ll have a hard time making a budget and planning your move to your best advantage.

My biggest lesson from tracking my spending was this: Don’t just assume that what’s traditional is the best option for yourself. If you receive $5K, but a U-Haul will be $450 bucks, how much are you willing to take and how quickly do you need furniture? For me, I was able to scrap around to find discount furniture stores that cost me around $430 for enough to furnish my apartment. While the prices are the same, you will need to consider your family’s availability, opportunity, cost of time and willingness as well.

Tip Number Two: Set Goals for Your Financial Literacy (and learn what the heck that means)

I knew that I needed a budget now that I was attempting to support myself. However, I found that making a budget needs to be more strategic than simply dividing out percentage estimates of what things will cost you and where. To inform myself better, I read the novel Rich Dad, Poor Dad, which is more about philosophizing your money. The author, Robert Kiyosaki, is a millionaire who made a life for himself using nothing but his mind and opportunity around him. It’s not a strict education, but rather a mental restructuring of what good spending habits and potential actually exist for a broke college graduate looking to support themselves and ideally make a comfortable living.

Kiyosaki would argue that perhaps being young is the best point in your life to leverage financial literacy to your advantage: You’re young. This means that you have long periods ahead of you during which assets can accrue value. Don’t forget that you also have the power to make mistakes now, which will be less costly to your security and more valuable to your long term education. You can learn what others regret and do it better.

Here’s what my revised cash flow pattern looks like according to Robert’s method.

This method simply allowed me to understand what my life looks like in terms of financial planning. This view forces you to consider where your money is going and how you can make small adjustments that snowball over time.

Tip Number Three: What is Renting?

I knew right off the bat that renting would be a bad investment. When you pay rent, the money is constantly absorbed into the rental office at a tremendously high rate in comparison to your starting salary. It’s not building towards anything either. So, unfortunately, rent was one of my biggest concerns starting out.

The sticker prices that you see on these gorgeous, resort style living locations are not necessarily ideal. Not only is a higher price displayed, but chances are that is actually an extremely low benchmark for what you will pay once you begin to consider all of the additional outside costs that actually come with an apartment. Let’s break down a few:

1. Rental Application Fee: Each time you apply to an apartment, you pay a fee. For mine, the fee was around $250 just to apply to a location. Consider carefully how many apartments you’ll be looking to apply to and be EXTREMELY careful to read fine print on paperwork. Do not be afraid to ask questions with your leasing agent. They are there to sell apartments and it is their job to help you. Read the lease in its entirety!

2. Rental Insurance Policy: Many leasing companies require that you take out an insurance policy over your apartment. Typically, a premium of personal liability can be $100,000 to cover your apartment. You will likely have to shell out $150-220 dollars in order to be covered. Double check that you have the right policy, and you will likely need it to be set before you actually gain ownership.

3. Gas/Water/Electric: Very few places cover each of these variable costs. To have a variable cost means that you’re not able to directly budget it into your finances, which also means that if you have a cold spell, you could pay double or triple for heating, for example. Consider these when moving. I’d save maybe a $500-800 from your moving package to ensure that you can afford these costs when first moving in before getting your first paycheck.

Understanding Yourself in a Period of Transition:

Tip Number Four: Expect Loneliness

I knew that moving to the South would be culture shock. People have different habits and routines in different parts of the country. It can seem like everyone you see while grocery shopping, eating dinner, or even walking around, has friends or partners or parents to keep them company. For me, it was also tricky because being a December college graduate, all of my friends were still in school, avidly attending class, so less available for support or able to understand a different situation, which is absolutely not their fault.

If you actively accept the challenge of moving as an exercise in growth, managing and dealing with loneliness is totally doable. I’d recommend using a schedule to set some structure to your day, for example every 2pm you head out on a run, or swing by your leasing agent’s office just so you’re seeing people and engaging with them. Don’t be afraid to be chatty, and be vulnerable about your situation. You’re in a new area, but that loneliness does not have to last long.

Tip Number Five: Explore your area ahead of working there

Most people who have never moved before haven’t had time or experience to think about the outside necessities of living in a new area. Luckily, my parents are seasoned movers and had some tips that I will now dispense to you:

1. Find your post office and change your mailing address so that mail comes directly to you. I did this online and just had to pay like two dollars for the forwarded mail.

2. Locate a DMV: Get your car’s title, license plate, your license and any other paperwork updated and changed to fit your new residence and address.

3. Locate a Pharmacy: It’s always a good idea to check in and get those medicines changed early so you don’t have a wakeup call when there’s one pill left and you’re up a creek.

4. Attempt to find a new doctor, dentist, specialist: This way if something goes wrong, you will at least know what insurance (or if you got a new insurance with your employer) will cover you for the future.

Tip Number Six: Lean on your friends and Goals

Despite being in somewhat of a different situation from your loved ones, or sometimes very far away, I’d recommend using this time to call or reach out to a friend who you haven’t spoken to, or calling your grandparent or loved ones if you haven’t in a while. I can guarantee that it will make you feel closer to someone when you’re alone, but also make them know they’re loved. There’s nothing burdensome about being scared about figuring something out on your own. Chances are they will be able to help.

Tip Number Seven: Plan Ahead Your Free Time

One of the greatest challenges of being by yourself if you’re anything like me is facing the quiet times. It’s difficult to go straight from a semester of working 18 hours per week in class and in activities then going dry, before being expected to immediately pick up the slack and begin working 40–50-hour weeks starting early on one Monday morning.

I attempted to combat this shock to my system by creating a schedule of the 168 hours in the week and drawing out exactly what work will look like, and planning in explicit times to rest, go grocery shopping, exercise, connect with people, and pursue my outside goals. In this way, I was able to prepare myself for the reality of working that I’ve never done before as well as create a support system in myself that would buffer me from the intensity of a new job and those emotions. This plan is highly subject to change, but absolutely is essential in understanding and accepting a new reality.

Tip Number Eight: Your Habits are Your Best Friend

Impending feelings of anxiety, loneliness, and opportunity to slip into bad habits are normal and also damaging. I was left all alone in my apartment. I’d written a list of to do items from tying up loose ends of a semester or wanting to achieve personal goals, yet staring at my new (antique) couch looked extremely promising. Facing the anxiety and impending unknown was way more challenging than spending my free time at home learning new skills or scrolling in ways that would not actually make me feel better, but would only make me feel worse. Keep in mind the shock of going from that lifestyle back to work. There’s no syllabus week in the real world.

My way to combat these feelings were to make several goals which were tied to habits that I could practice daily. Not only did these habits make me feel like I was working toward something constantly, but with a new atmosphere, they would solidify me during transition as well as set myself up for success in my new environment. Here are several examples of goals that I set up in my new move:

1. No phones by the bed: Put it on the floor, across the room. Stop the screen time.

2. Activity Outside the House: Get outside for 60 minutes per day? The CDC has been telling us about these benchmarks for days, but I mean it. This is the best time to set yourself a benchmark of being able to walk or run for a certain distance. It also gets you seeing people, or making friends at a new gym, but the routine helps remove stress.

3. Read Books: I’m the biggest advocate for reading, but selecting a book that empathizes with your situation such as Rich Dad, Poor Dad; Girl, Stop Apologizing; Rage Becomes Her, all helps make you feel less alone and provides you with greater tools with which to interpret your surroundings.

Be The Person You Always Wanted To Be

Tip Number Nine: Check off your To Do List Ahead of Time

Tied hand in hand with your habits comes your in-between to do list. I’m talking about the papers your senior advisors told you to publish, your graduate school applications, your poems that you always wanted to write.

I would recommend treating these like work. I’m not saying you shouldn’t take breaks, or transform your hobbies into work, but taking them as items to keep your moment and motivation up is absolutely essential. In addition, treating these items with deadlines of the first day of work will help you accomplish new things, while also maintaining a baseline of stamina and stability that you know how to accomplish when the world around you is foreign. Small wins and steps toward personal progress help you keep the unknown at bay.

Tip Number Ten: Understand Setbacks

On the other hand, don’t set a to do list that will make you feel overwhelmed. Recognize that you might feel like doing nothing but crying or staring at a new wall that you pay too much for. Find ways to manage the setbacks to build resiliency. For this, I’d recommend reading the book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. Changes are not going to beat you. Likewise, fear is only a tool to make you stronger.

Rationalizing your situation is the only way to help your brain cope with such monumental changes. For me, this blog is a source of reflection and openness that makes me feel like I can hold on to something even when not being paid or having school to work towards. Find something that you can hold onto, and even when it fails will still bring you joy. If you have a hard day at work for the first time, build frameworks to support yourself when the experience is challenging and new.

Tip Number Eleven: Time is Money, not a second to waste

Looking back on the past eleven days, I can find tremendous gaps where I allowed time to fall away without result. I’m a pretty visual learner, so laying out my rest time as if it were money allowed me to reward myself for doing certain things, while also motivate myself to value the opportunities that were being presented to myself.

Here’s a sample of how I was able to organize a single week:

L = Lockheed (Work)

S = Self (Exercise, reading, writing, TV, etc.)

E = Entrepreneurial (learning about finances, graduate school, business pursuit, planning money)

In each of these, I categorized my hours based on the values that I assigned them. For example, taking a valuation of your hourly work rate (let’s say its $22) and comparing that against an hour of rest increases the value of your rest. So, you might be more willing to take an active rest period, such as cooking for yourself or moving your body instead of allowing yourself to fall into the trap of the scroll. On the other hand, if entrepreneurial ventures are balanced at $22, but you find the return on investment to be too low, maybe it’s a sign to rethink how hard you’re working and strategize better on your learning.

Tip Number Twelve: Set Yourself Long Term Goals Outside of Work (Make them SMART and visible).

Finally, I have been a student of recharging one’s outside batteries extremely well because I believe that they make you more prepared, energized, and tactful at work. Being physically, emotionally, and mentally prepared to do your best professionally only will set you up in the best possible position to accomplishing your professional goals as well.

James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits, says that in order to build a habit, you need to make something visible, easy, and automatic. For me, writing down my habits and pasting them on my wall was a way to make them constantly present. Seeing things that are either professional or nonprofessional can help you motivate yourself to go to work, as that will provide you the means to accomplish something fulfilling for yourself outside.

For example, I set a goal for myself to run 300 miles in a year. Whether or not I’ll be able to accomplish this, it motivates me to get a mile in before heading to work, which in turn energizes me for a long day and reduces the stress of needing to work out for other social reasons following a long day. Capitalizing on the momentum of hopping out of bed is only one way to collect these benefits.

Consider other goals--reading more books, eating healthier, spending less screen time—turning these into positive habits that build momentum for a good day will increase your accomplishment and sense of self-esteem even before you hit a new job. Building that confidence and reliance that even if things at work are going haywire, you’re safe is one of the best ways that I’ve found to build resiliency.

Many of the times that we fail to accomplish our goals is because we haven’t paven a roadmap of how to accomplish them. If your goal is to run 300 miles this year, I’d draw out a calendar and attempt to plan what that would look like per month and an exact plan of what to do if you fail one day, or run longer the next. SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time Bound. These parameter allow you to make sure that your framework is useful to you, because sometimes just a post it note with no explanation can be setting you up for failure.

At the same time, consider how these goals will motivate the uncertainty of monotony. For the first time in my real adult life, I’m working towards only one thing with no definite end point for forty hours per week. During semesters and internships, high intensity periods of work for three months gave way to periods of relaxation. At work, the weekend is not structured in a same period of relaxation. In the same way, during a semester you were juggling clubs, job applications, classes and studying all at once. The void of such variation can make the monotony of even the most exciting job daunting because you simply haven’t started understanding that change in culture and pace.

Final Notes

If you’ve read this far, I hope that this helps you. There are tons of reasons that moving is scary, but at the same time, so many tools to make sure that it really doesn’t have to be hard or too big of an ordeal. Let me know how it goes.