Burnout Bravery and How to Bounce Back Better

Sometimes I feel like I should’ve called Aflight something more original… like “the real things that you feel like nobody wants to talk to you about at work.” Partly, we do this because as a twenty-somethings, it feels like we’re already going to get fired at every turn, so admitting defeat definitely sounds like the way to get the red, one-way ticket into your parent’s basement. But I think that’s tremendously damaging. In the same breath, if you’re having a personal problem that may be affecting your ability to do your job, I think that's perhaps one of the most important times to really have a chat with your manager and ask the question: how can I best meet my responsibilities while dealing with this personal crisis of sorts?

For the Speed Readers:

• What Is Burnout?

• My Best Advice

• Bounce Back Better

Last Friday, I was accepted into graduate school–my top choice actually. I got the email while sitting in my car about to head into Food Lion to pick up some cheap groceries for dinner. I was thrilled for the first hour or so. Yet, it was kinda a huh, that’s cool moment. But then, I was home, sitting on my kitchen floor, completely alone. There was absolutely nobody around me to go out to dinner, congratulate me, or quite frankly know about this huge thing that I felt I’d done.

That’s one of the things they don’t tell you. You hear the good news and your circle is two thousand miles away. Yes, I believe that you should be a party of one, but celebrating your first Big Thing alone really can make you wonder if it really is a Big Thing in the first place, or if it's just something that you’re supposed to do. What did I do? I took myself out to Olive Garden that night and was completely alone. I read my newest Stephen King book and realized to myself that it’s ABSOLUTELY okay just to be mediocre happy about things that you’re supposed to be over the moon, because a lot of life is that social game, and maybe you’re not there again yet.

But you will. That Olive Garden for one was a real bummer for me. That evening, I went home and self-destructed in Oreo ice cream and Sex and the City. I didn’t really feel like doing everything because for some reason I thought I should be resting for this huge task that was coming up. At the same time, I had the identity crisis–this is not what a person who could go to Georgetown would do. Get up and write or do something productive!

During the same weekend, I hit blocks in three other areas of my life: I couldn’t write a creative thing for the life of me; I couldn’t blog a lick because of the brain fog; and my body was shot. I’ve been ‘training’ to increase my 5k time and for some reason my body just hit its wall and said pain and no running.

WHAT a BUMMER!

For some reason, without warning or reason, my body said Time Out! It’s time for a breakdown! What I realized that I was experiencing was a Class A Burn Out!

What is Burnout?

The World Health Organization describes Burn-out as the following:

“Burn-out is a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions:

• feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion;

• increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one's job; and

• reduced professional efficacy.”

Hot Damn! We have a problem, ladies and gentlemen! How the HECK am I supposed to get back to work if the compounding stress of me not doing work is stressing me out so badly that I can’t do work!

So, in my Burnout Bubble, I sat down and made a list. I sat on my couch and I watched like ten episodes of Sex and the City… Did that make me lazy, or useless, or less deserving? HELL TO THE NAW!

My Best Advice

One. When you’re experiencing burnout, my best advice would be: recognize it for what it is!! Your body is telling you that something is off, whether through brain fog caused by stress or latent overexertion. You need to check out and off the grid for a second. That’s absolutely okay, even though the world might make you feel like it’s not.

Number two. The internet will tell you to talk to a therapist, make lists, call friends, or do this or that. Yes. Do that if you think it will help you, but I think that these activities all account to one, very simple thing: You need to check out of work and into mindfulness activities that force you to slowwwwwww down.

Mindfulness literally just means to slow down enough to be conscious of what you’re doing. This means that you write the definition of whatever feels slow and perhaps slightly uncomfortable for you. In complete honesty, the thing that makes you feel the most uncomfortable by not ‘doing’ is most likely the thing that you need the most. Swallow that pill and deal with it.

Here’s what I did, and it worked for me: Whether you’re at work or at home, get up and make a plan for what’s going to happen when you get home (or head out to the store to get the essentials, you know). I would suggest a tub of ice cream, RAINBOW sprinkles, a vegetable of some sort and meat. If you can walk to your local grocery store–DO SO. Listen to a podcast or different music if you’d like to check out from society.

Go home, and if it’s not dinner time, pull out a book. Turn your phone completely off. Take a bath and read that book. Make your dinner completely without stimulus. Eat it, and if you want, try some mindfulness about what it tastes like or feels like–I’m not too much into that. Thinking too hard about my food makes me too aware of how broccoli tastes like a rug.

Number Three. Immediately after that course, I felt some of my spark returning. I had a blog idea! Can you imagine! And it wasn’t this one! But I jotted it down then was like great–problem fixed, now I can get back to my high stress routine (and if you’re like Teresa, we see you writing this blog, you’re a liar, hold your horses). Step three, I’d say is to use that little bit of newfound momentum to look back and identify what tipped the scales and how you’re going to remedy the stress that has remained the same, from ruining your newfound victory.

For me? Stop putting pressure on the things that don’t budge and realize–with some soul searching and perspective–that nobody is coming.

Realization Turning Point

When you’re an ‘adult’, living on your own is freedom. I was just sitting on my kitchen floor reading a book… Why? Because I pay for that square footage, and because nobody is watching me. I can do ~whatever~ I want. You can too. You can start a blog, make broccoli, or watch reruns of TV until your eyes hurt and you’re double blinking with dryness.

BUT that alone-ness also means that there will be lonely moments of self-celebration where you feel like you’re the only person in your corner BUT it also means that nobody is coming to save you. Either you get yourself up, or you stay on the floor.

That thought sucks, but surprisingly, the reality of knowing it puts your life instantly into perspective. Record scratch: If nobody is coming to save you, you are able to choose how you recover, how ugly it looks and how quickly that process happens. All that matters is that you choose to prioritize you for a little bit then make a plan to fall into a safety net in the future–the safety net of your own creation.

For me it was a reversion back to mindfulness. I felt like Laura from The Little House on the Prairie. I checked out from everything–TV, Phone, Computer, Work. No siree, not for me. Instead I pulled open a book and sat in a bath and cooked and forced myself to feel present in the little things that actually bring profound, deep happiness.

At the same time, I looked back. I had already sensed my burnout before heading into work this morning. I knew it was there, and was choosing to ignore the massive front of shadow that was looming on my horizon about to overwhelm me.

Bounce Back Better

What did I do? I couldn’t make the looming burnout go away–nope, it was too late for me. So, I talked about it to my coworker. She’s older than me, but still close to a similar age. I said hey, is this normal? Am I normal? And will I get fired for airing these feelings aloud? I want to get better and back to the self that was hired to do this job, because I’m really good at what I do. Heck, a grad school thinks so.

Her face softened. She smiled. She said, “Teresa, I know whatcha mean.” And we talked about it. There is this dynamic, wonderful person who I admire and she’s just reassured me that the burnout is normal and I’m not going to get fired? Go Planes!

But in that conversation, I got the big ugly cloud into the open where it could disperse enough for me to see the edges. That’s all you really are looking for when the burnout comes. You need to understand what is making the cloudiness fill your mind and blur the reality of your situation, because one task feels like a mountain. Take a break. You’ll find out what mountains you can actually move, and which aren’t really mountains at all.

So, my final thoughts: Burning out is normal, but still unexpected. It can feel like the world is falling apart and completely out of your control. Yet, this lapse is entirely MOMENTARY. And how do you combat the momentary? Make the most of the moments. Revert back to the simple which is devoid of the confusions that make it complicated. No outside people, just think: what would I do if the power went out and start there. You need help? Reach out to me, reach out to a mentor, reach out to a friend. Every single one of them can help, and none of them will tell you that you’re fired for feeling human. You’re not a machine. Recalibrate and get back out there to tell the world how great you really are. The light comes back!